Grime Square is committed to platforming diverse voices, including Ridgewood native and Gen Z homeowner Stiven Peter, who arrived on the local scene with an argument against transplants published in UnHerd. Below, you’ll find Peter’s reviews of local Queens’ businesses rated on a scale of 0 (very good) to Find God (the opposite of “very good”).

1) Salvo’s — 0. Great place, great guy, great sandwiches. Inspirational story. The heart of New York.

2) Nowadays — 4. You are 40 years old. Go to your nearest CVS and get some pain meds and earplugs.

3) Windows with no blinds — Find God. The sheer caucasity is exhausting. No one wants to see your thrifted clothes, the books you never read, or your nearly dead plant.

4) Hellbender — 2. Great place to order chips, guac and a margarita for $50 and enjoy tasteful banter. I do miss the (brief time) they actually had tacos. 

5) Aunt Ginny’s (retro dive bar, opened 10 years ago) — FIND GOD. I went here for the first time after a show at Lichen. Ordered a spice bag. It was great… until I had to use the bathroom. Went back for this review. Ordered a drink and a chicken sando. Both were great… for about 30 minutes.

6) Little Libraries — Find God. This is a godless program, stocked with books almost no child would want to or should read. If these were around when I was a kid and I opened one and saw Zohran Walks New York, I would have been spooked. And I think my parents would have made sure that library wasn’t there the next day.

7) Carrie’s Corner Cafe — 0¹.

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1. Editors’ Note: Stiven was asked to clarify this rating, and he refused. ↩︎